Get Fit And Create Family Experiences And Memories

 I’m a husband, dad and granddad and I love fitness and an active lifestyle.  In recalling some my fondest moments with my children and wife they’ve all been around some physical activity, i.e. hiking, swimming, rock climbing, climbing a mountain, biking. The physical activity wasn’t as important as the time we spent together. 

 I also recall on several occasions other families looking to have some fun outdoors and several members of the family being too out of shape or overweight to participate.   They never said those words, but what they did say was something like, “I’m too tired” or “You go ahead and I’ll stay here and watch.”  

 How said, that because of something so easy to control – a persons level of fitness – that the family missed out on creating great memories. 

 Fitness is one of those things that is constantly in our face, but few ever take it seriously, that is until it’s too late. Fitness doesn’t have to be complicated or take hours a day to achieve.  It just takes a bit of mental strength, a plan and taking action.

 I like to look at fitness as being a part of and contributing to an active lifestyle.  This, I feel should be the goal of every family, to have an active lifestyle.  Sure, it’s nice to have game night and maybe even watch T.V. or a movie.  But those memories quickly fade away or turn into regret.

 By having an active lifestyle a family can create fantastic memories that will last a life time.  My kids still talk about our trips and hikes to Yosemite…and it’s been almost 15 years since those trips together.

 The question you’re probably asking at this point is HOW to create an active and fit lifestyle.

 Glad you ask!

 With the help a coach, you both can address the areas that are most overlooked in a successful conversion from a sedentary to active lifestyle.  These areas include:

• Environmental factors determine the external opportunities or constraints which individuals and families must function in. They involve considering where and when success occurs. This includes areas like:
  • The Kitchen
  • The workplace
  • School
  • Fitness area or gym
  • Outdoors

• Behavioral factors are the specific action steps taken in order to reach success. They involve what, specifically, must be done or accomplished in order to succeed and include:
  • Determining favorite activities like rollerblading, bike riding, running, etc
  • The optimum time to exercise
  • A change in nutrition
  • Work out 3 times a week

• Capabilities relate to the mental maps, plans or strategies that lead to success. They direct how actions are selected and monitored and might include:
  • The use of a schedule
  • Creating a family Code of Honor
  • Establishing accountability among each other

• Beliefs and values provide the reinforcement that supports or inhibits particular capabilities and actions. They relate to why a particular path is taken and the deeper motivations which drive people and families to act or not to act.  Some limiting beliefs to be examined can include:
  • It’s expensive to be fit and healthy
  • I/we don’t have time to exercise
  • I have too much work to do to exercise

• Identity factors relate to people’s sense of their role or mission. These factors are a function of who a person or family perceives themselves to be. Some identities to be explored can be:
  • “I’m overweight”
  • “I have an illness”
  • “We’re just a big boned family”

• “Spiritual” factors relate to people’s view of the larger system of which they are a part. These factors involve for whom or for what a particular action step or path has been taken (the purpose).  This can include
  • Living long enough to see your grandkids finish High School
  • To be an inspiration to your children
  • To be an inspiration to your parents

These are the main areas that, as a coach, I help individual and families look at when wanting to embrace an active lifestyle.  A combination of a personal trainer, great nutritionist and a coach can make the process of creating an active and fit lifestyle so easy that you’ll be wondering what’s taken us so long.

This is one of my roles as coach; to assist, encourage and transform families thinking and beliefs that they can’t be fit, healthy and active to knowing and believing that they can and then living it and creating great memories.

Training Your Core

Recently I wrote an article for my Warrior Fitness Training newsletter about “Training the Core -Vector Style”.  Don’t worry; I’m not going to get into the aspects of physical fitness here.  But I did notice something when I was writing this article.

There were a couple of paragraphs that could be applied to personal development and personal empowerment.

Just to give a brief background on the what the core is, from a physiological perspective – “The core is a section of the body roughly defined as the area from the armpits to the knees, and more specifically, as the 29 pairs of muscles that support the lumbo pelvic-hip complex that stabilize the spine, pelvis, and kinetic chain during functional movements.”

OK…that’s it for the anatomy lesson.  Well except one other part… “most movements occur through the core, after beginning somewhere else.”

Let’s think about this from personal empowerment perspective.  What is you ‘core’?  I might offer that your core is your values.  That part of you that give’s you direction in life.  That gut feeling when something is right and something is wrong.

 But in today’s frantic pace many of us have lost track of our core and have let it get weak.  Let’s take a look at another expert from my article about the physical core.  

“If the core lacks strength with balance and stability then energy leakage can occur upon force production or force absorption and the power generated by the limbs and transferred through the core can be lost, resulting in less power generated for a technique or a compromised ability of the body to absorb force properly. During force reduction, the pattern of force reduction compensation can lead to injury due to core weakness and imbalances.”

You probably found this very interesting didn’t you?

Let’s take a closer look…”If the core lacks strength and stability then energy leakage can occur…”  WOW!

Let’s apply this to our values based core.  If we don’t live in alignment with our core values then we can get distracted with other things…this is also energy leakage!  Then we can’t generate any power! 

Can you see how this might be showing up in your life?

By studying the physical core we can learn about our values core.  One word comes to mind when I think about both cores…integrity.  According to dictionary.com one definition of integrity is “a sound, unimpaired, or perfect condition.” This can be easily applied to our physical core. 

Another definition is “adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty.”  This could be easily applied to our values core.

So, when our core is in integrity we’ll have no leakage and be in perfect condition.

The question is then…how to do you train your “core.”

Since there are so many similarities between our physical core and “invisible” core, let’s look at how one would train the physical.  Again from my article:

“If the core can be trained in these various angles, with a variety of implements, then it will be better prepared to withstand, as well as transfer, the forces needed in preparation, operations and deployment.”

Hum????

So how does this pertain to our values core?   The same way a person trains and develops mental strength….go out look for opportunities of challenges themselves.

This means intentionally exposing oneself to circumstances that will confront your values.  This might be keeping a commitment to friend to meet for lunch instead of canceling because you’re too busy (if friendship is a core value). It could mean telling someone you disagree with them instead of remaining silent.  

Take a look at your top 3 core values and think about the last time you “exercised” them?  I mean really put then to the test. By putting ourselves in a variety of circumstance (training from various angles) we can train our core to become stronger.  We’ll then have no energy leaks.

When we have no energy leaks we will have more energy to accomplish what we want and achieve personal success and peak performance.

If we don’t train our core will be susceptible to injury i.e. disappointment, fear, etc and personal failure.

The choice is yours….train your core or allow it be weakened.  I hope you’ll choose wisely.

The Power of Contemplation

Kasia recently wrote a fantastic post for me about journaling. This got me thinking about contemplation and how the two are connected.

The word contemplation comes from the Latin root templum (from Greek temnein: to cut or divide). It means separating something from its environment and enclosing it in a sector, i.e. take a single thought or idea and focus on it to the exclusion of everything else.

I like to think of contemplation as different from meditation, in that, meditation’s goal is to be still with no thoughts. Where as contemplation can be used to receive answers to difficult questions.

Contemplation was an important part of the philosophy of Plato; Plato thought that through contemplation the soul may ascend to knowledge of the Form of the Good or other divine Forms. Plotinus as a (neo)Platonic philosopher also expressed contemplation as the most critical of components for one to reach henosis (the union with what is fundamental in reality: the One, the Source or Monad – God).

To Plotinus the highest contemplation was to experience the vision of God, the Monad or the One. Plotinus describes this experience in his works the Enneads. According to his student Porphyry, Plotinus stated that he had this experience of God four times.

On of the easiest way to contemplate is Journaling. By journaling, you’re recording your experience and your feelings about that thought or question. This can be very helpful, because sometimes the answers aren’t immediate. And with contemplation of a past experience the full impact of an experience may not revealed for several years.

Another form of contemplation is connecting with the Spirit or your Higher Source. In this method, you ask yourself a question about whatever it is you’re experiencing, in your life. This begin with I’d suggest a question or situation that has a minimal charge around it, i.e.

“What are 3 things that happened today I’m grateful for?”

Now, keep thinking…contemplating this thoughts and wait for the answer to come from deep within yourself…the answer will come.

At first you’ll be getting conscious answers (from your ego) and as you practice this, your ability to distinguish between your own mind giving you an answer and your Higher Self offering you its wisdom will become more apparent.

I utilize both of these methods to some extent throughout my day. Sometimes, I’m not in a position to journal (like when I’m at work). Other times lend themselves more easily to journaling (like right after my meditation practice).

A third method for contemplation uses both methods in conjunction with each other. Using them together creates a synergy that often unlocks some of the issues you may be really struggling with. When this happens, it can have a profound impact on your life.

Here’s how: Journal about your experience, and the feelings you have about it. Then connect with your Higher Source, and wait for its response. When you receive answers journal about what Higher Source reveals to you.

If you continue to have difficulty with the experience, you can return to this practice multiple times. As I stated before, sometimes, it may take days, weeks, months or even years to fully be able to separate the answers from ego vs. Higher Source…and the wait it worth it!

Step By Step Process

Contemplation can be used to receive guidance for like “How can I…?” and to release a charge associated with a person or situation. For the example below we’ll use releasing a charge around a person.

 Here’s a basic step by step process you can use to begin your contemplation for releasing a charge around a person.

1 – Set your mind to accept answers received within oneself from your Higher Source with in this distinctly internal adventure of contemplation.

2- Recognize a behavior in someone that you strongly dislike. Notice I said a behavior and NOT the person. People are not their behaviors! If you are having trouble with this concept this might be a great subject for contemplation . You can also contemplate on a situation you are experiencing or a abstract idea. For now we’ll use a person.

For instance: “John is mean to me”

Then there are number of ways to contemplate this thoughts and I like to use “The Work” from Byron Katie when it comes to a person or situation.

• Is it true?

 i.e. Is John really mean to me? At first the immediate reaction is yes! Of course it is…he’s done this and that to me.

• Can you absolutely know that it’s true?

To be absolutely true the statement has be true 100% of the time. This is where the deep contemplation comes in. Is this statement true 100% of the time. Better yet…when is this statement NOT true? Like when you’re sleeping or playing with your children.

• How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?

This takes some deep “soul searching” and contemplation. We all tend to react instead of respond. Reaction is so unconscious that most of the time we’re not even aware of what we are doing. By contemplating on this thought you are automatically moving from reacting to responding.

• Who would you be without the thought?

This could be the toughest and longest part to the contemplation. When you contemplate this thought around the initial idea you move into a place of change and empowerment.

Then the big one! The Turn Around

After you have investigated your statement with the four questions, you’re ready to turn around the concept you’re questioning.

Each ‘turnaround’ is an opportunity to experience the opposite of your original statement and see it from a different perspective.

A statement can be turned around to the opposite, to the other, and to the self (and sometimes to “my thinking,” when that feels appropriate). Find a minimum of three genuine, specific examples of how each turnaround is true in your life.

For the original statement of “John is mean to me” three examples might be:

• My thinking is mean

• I am mean to myself

• I am mean to John

Now for some fun!

You can take each of the above statements and run them through “The Work” again. What you’ll eventually come to is all your statements and thoughts are neither true all the time, nor false all the time.

This can be very liberating, in that you get to choose the thought. By contemplating and selecting an empowering statement and thought you can move yourself from have no power to creating instant personal empowerment.

I’m excited to have Gregg Swanson of Warrior Mind Coach as a guest blogger today! Enjoy his inspiring message about the difference in serving and being of service. 

It still surprises me today that many men and women are living in the past…well at least back to the 50’s and 60’s.

More specifically, many women tend to put their families before themselves or at least deny themselves some of what they see is a “luxury.”

This type of thinking and energy can have a very harmful effect in many areas of their lives, in particular, their safety.

A friend of mine, Melissa Soalt aka Dr. Ruthless, in an article, “Fierce Love: The Heart of the Female Warrior” discusses the power of the female energy:

“The warrior spirit lies deep within us all. It’s a vital, rousing force that can turn the meek into the fearsome. Women, as a tribe, are endowed with their own warrior instincts and powers, borne in the female psyche and biology.

Nowadays, we hear a lot about higher callings, the yearning to connect with forces greater than one’s self, and about the power of returning to one’s roots. This is precisely the gift of self-defense—it returns women to native powers buried beneath fear and the rubble of socialization, and it bestows saving graces-not from heaven above, but from below—from our lower center of gravity curiously located near the site of the womb. (More reasons why self-defense is a womanly art!)”

This is real female empowerment!

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not suggesting you toss your husband and kids to curb and go out kick some bad guy’s butt. What I am offering is a chance to look at your energy, thoughts and beliefs about you and your role in your relationships.

Are you a “servant”, playing taxi driver, head cook, or maid because you feel obligated?

Or are you the goddess that lovingly takes care of herself first so that she can then take care of her family because she desires to and enjoys it?

See the difference?

They are both the same action, but one is coming from fear and obligation and the other from joy and desire.

 Are you a woman from Greece or from Sparta?

Here’s a small account of who and what Spartan women were

• Women’s roles in Sparta weren’t limited to marriage as well as procreation (as many within Greece). Spartan women experienced numerous privileges that many other Greek women didn’t possess. Specifically, they could own and control their own property. A woman was expected in times of battle to take ownership her husband’s property, and to guard it against invaders and revolts until her husband returned; hence many Spartan women are pictured as warriors.

• Spartan women were taught reading and writing. They were also expected to be able to protect themselves. A girl’s education was equally as brutal as the men’s; many athletic events such as javelin, discus, foot races, and staged battles were also for both sexes. In many such events, Spartan women would run naked in the presence of their male counterparts and were respected for their athletic feats.

• The freedom and greater respect for Spartan women began at birth with laws that required female infants and children to be given the same care and food as their brothers. Like their brothers, Spartan girls were expected or required to attend the public school, although for a shorter period of time than the boys. At school they were allowed and encouraged to engage in sports.

• With their husbands confined to barracks and on active service until the age of 31 and frequently called up for campaigns or engaged in political and civic duties thereafter, it was left to Sparta’s matrons to run the estates. These meant that Spartan wives controlled the family wealth—and in effect the entire Spartan agricultural economy.

• A Spartan citizen was dependent on his wife’s efficiency to pay his “dues” to his dining club. What was more, Spartan women could inherit and so transfer wealth. This is clearly evidenced by contemporary descriptions of Spartan women. They were “notorious” for having opinions (“even on political matters!”)

• In a frequently quoted incident, the wife of King Leonidas was allegedly asked why Spartan women were the only women in Greece who “ruled” their husbands. Gorgo replied, “Because we are the only women who give birth to men.” In other words, only men with the self-confidence to accept women as equals were men at all.

OK…so maybe I got a little carried away with the history lesson. The point I’m attempting to make is that when a woman considers herself as a warrior and goddess she will have a much more fulfilling life. A life filled with adventure, pleasure and abundance.

Here’s a few definitions of “servant”

• One who expresses submission, recognizance, or debt to another

• Serving, waiting

• To attend, wait upon

Now here are a few definitions of “goddess”

• A woman of extraordinary beauty and charm

• A greatly admired or adored woman

• A female being believed to be the source of life

Which one if more empowering?

The point here is to bring into harmony both aspects that will support you and your family in your life’s journey together.

By attending to yourself first you will have more to give, after all you can’t give what you don’t have. You are a goddess that deserves to live a life for herself so that her family will live in a strong, caring, loving and protected environment.

No go take that bubble bath you’ve been dying for!

Please let us know your comments below.

I’m very excited to announce that a good friend and colleague of mine will be guest blogging on this blog beginning in June. His expertise in mindset and change work is immense and we’re very much on the same page about what we do, just in different fields of helping others.  He works with athletes and I focus on working with women and moms and others who want to help themselves but don’t know where to start.

My guest blogger is Gregg Swanson of Warrior Mind Coach  and I am very excited to be working with him again. I am excited that he will share his expertise and passion for creating positive change. Stay tuned…his exciting and informative posts will begin in mid June.