This July Long Weekend was our first camping trip of the year.  We loaded up our sedan and headed north to Squamish for 3 days.  The weather was clearing up and we were all very excited about spending some time doing some de-stressing and relaxing. 

I have a theory on stress especially after this weekend.  It needs to be processed and nothing processes it like the clean and renewing energy of nature, next to Time Empowerment Techniques, of course.  We spent a lot of time walking around and playing ball and frisbee – and staying out of each others way! 

It’s been a long winter and really not much of a spring so we’ve spent more time in doors than we’re used to as a family.  On this trip we found ourselves excited, eating smores and chips (and some veggies), and staying up late around the camp fire, and so a few arguments came up here and there on day 1. 

Day 2 was better and we enjoyed more ball games and less arguing.  But it wasn’t until Day 3 that we all really relaxed and truly had fun.  I started thinking about it because holidays are supposed to be relaxing the whole way through, aren’t they?  That’s what I thought until now. 

There is a book by Gregg Braden called Earthing where the author talks about our connection to nature and recharging our batteries by being in direct contact with nature.  Dr Wayne Dyer also talks about this in his work.  He says walking around barefoot helps to restore our internal balance and helps us sleep better, for example.   I practice this after a long day and feel so much better but I know I don’t practice it enough. 

After 3 days spent in nature all of the stress that had built up over time was finally coming out of all of us – at the same time.  I think this is why we were all on edge for the first little while.  We’re a calm family and so to experience this onslaught of energy being released was interesting and we weren’t used to it.  I felt bad about it at first because I do a lot of emotional releases and keep myself calm and balanced.  Then I realized that although my processes and practices are fantastic and work very well, nature has it’s own way of helping us return to balance a lot faster.  There are many ways to eat an elephant.

On the last day it clouded over and they were calling for rain all night and the next day.  We decided to pack up while our gear was still dry and go home.  I’m glad we did because we all got an awesome night’s sleep at home that night and had a lovely Sunday riding our bicycles at Iona Beach. 

I am positive that the next camping trip in August will be different and that we will return to calm a lot faster.  The summer weather has finally arrived and we’ll be doing a lot of out doorsy stuff and letting nature pull stress out of us at the same time.

You and I and all human beings see the world through our own unique lens – kind of like looking through a windshield. As kids we’re born with a clean windshield and it gets smudged and cluttered up by what we learn as we grow and mature.

As a kid you experience and are told things about the world and you learn based everything that happens to you. Your conscious mind processes only a fraction of the total information that your senses are exposed to. The rest is filtered by your subconscious mind according to what it’s been conditioned to focus on – all the “stuff” on your windshield. What you focus on influences your results in life.

If you’ve ever seen a movie with your best friend or your spouse and you loved it but they didn’t, you what I mean. Two people can experience the same event in very different ways because of their windshield and what they focus on. Two people can also come from a very similar background and upbringing, have the same opportunities come their way and one will succeed and the other will struggle.

When everything in your life is working for you this means your windshield is allowing you to focus on what you want. But if you’re struggling, feeling stressed about miscommunication with your spouse or your boss, feeling like you don’t have enough meaningful connection with your children, or fighting with your health and fitness, it means your windshield is dirty. You’re focusing on what’s not working and on all the ways you try to change and it’s still not working.

To permanently change your circumstances easily, you need to start with cleaning your mental windshield. This will allow you to focus on new ways of approaching your problem and give you a fresh perspective on how you can achieve what you want. The reason for this is simple. The information that is allowed to pass through your filters influences your view of your world, your emotional state, your physiology. These three in turn make up your behaviour and lead to your results.

For example, studies have shown that negative people may perceive excitement as anger. Positive people would perceive excitement as just that: a happy and energetic state of being. Consider how differently you would behave if you perceived an excited person to be angry versus if you perceived them to be happy.

It doesn’t mean one perception is right and one is wrong, it just means that when you change your perceptions you change your experience of the world. Remember that as a parent, you’re largely responsible for your what’s on your children’s windshields because they model your behaviour. They learn your habits, your struggles, and your triumphs.

 What do you want them to model after you?

 Here are 3 questions that will assist you in cleaning your own windshield. First, consider the areas of your life where you’re not experiencing the results you want. Second, ask yourself these questions and write out your answers.

1. What perceptions of the world do you have that are sabotaging your success in this area?
2. What negative beliefs do you have about what you can and can’t do? About what’s possible or impossible? Write out your top 10.
3. How will your life change if you believe simply that you are in the process of accomplishing anything you want?

I was at a training this past week that was all about the Power in You (Do Yourself a Favor  right now and go to one of their FREE evening courses. YOUR life will never be the same again). 

Now I’m a person who works on myself all the time. I am aware of what I think and say to myself – at least as much as I can get out of my own head.  I would consider myself to be very self observant.  I also know that I don’t know everything and so I went into this training with an open mind and ready to soak it all in.

I wasn’t disappointed.  In fact, I was blown away at how much I grew during three short days and how I FELT afterwards.  This wasn’t one of those “ra ra – feel good” sessions that fizzles out after a few days.  It was absolutely life changing and allowed me to face and let go of some deep stuff. 

“Stuff” is a great technical term for all those things we carry around that stand in our own way.

I realized that The Law of Attraction works.  In fact it works so well that it’s incredible!  And the key to it is emotion.  Yes, emotion.  Knowing what you want is important too – but not as important as emotion.  The universe and your Unconscious Mind don’t care about what you want to attract – they only care about how you feel about it.  Good or bad feelings – the predominant will always win.  Let me explain.

I have an interesting life story – we all do, in fact, but I will use my own as an example.  Throughout my life I learned how to see the world, how to feel about things, how to behave in different circumstances, how to focus on things, and other “stuff.”  Now I want to be exceedingly clear that everything in life happens for a reason and I do not blame my past or anyone in it for where I am today.  Not anymore.  I used to, but that’s another post. 

Some things in my life work for me and others don’t.  In some areas of my life I attract exactly what I want and in others I struggle.  In fact, I don’t even feel very good about some areas of my life.  I don’t really know what I want but I feel bad about not having it.  These bad feelings keep attracting more of what I don’t want.  I realized that I even felt bad about wanting something different in such areas as my health and my career, and so I kept attracting more of what made me feel bad.  Whereas in my immediate family, I aways felt good about my relationship with my husband and now with my kids, and so my family life is fantastic!

So the point is that if you know what you want and you feel good about it you will get more of what you want. 

If you don’t know what you want and you feel bad about what you do have, you will keep attracting more of what you have.

If you do know what you want but you’re not emotionally attached to it, you will keep attracting more of what you have.

How do we get emotionally attached to what we want?  We have to know what gives us meaning in our life.  I’m so grateful that I know how to let past negative emotions and limiting beliefs go easily and quickly because I can now focus more on what I want.  And I can feel what I want which means that I am activating the Law Of Attraction to bring me closer to my dreams. 

So if you want to prove to yourself that the Law Of Attraction works, just keep thinking what you’re thinking and feeling what you’re feeling, and you’ll get more of what you’re getting. 

I feel like I made a quantum leap in my mindset during this course I just took and I am going to share it with the world.  I can now feel what it’s like to dream big and believe that I can achieve that dream!

FOR REAL! The Power in You is life changing!

Kasia Rachfall helps you stop letting your past to determine your future and your now. Did the above resonate with you? Do you disagree? Do you have a new insight to add? Please share your thoughts.

You realize that the results you’ve been getting have plateau’d. You’ve tried and tried and you feel like you’ve really put your best self into it and yet your expectations aren’t being met.  Whether it’s a job, a relationship, a fitness program, or your family life – you’re not alone in this frustration you’re feeling. 

 Why do we get stuck in ruts of “trying” and don’t get what we want?  Because that’s what we learned to do. 

 As a child you experienced life and were influenced by those around you.  You were imprinted with their ideas, values, beliefs, and attitudes.  You learned and formed beliefs about the world and how it works.  Once you learn to do things a certain way this information is stored in your unconscious mind and it becomes second nature to you.

 It works much the same way as learning a skill or trade.  Once you learned how to tie your shoes, you do it without thinking because it’s now unconscious knowledge for you.  It’s like having a software program running in your neurology for everything you know and do.

 Your mind is powerful because it holds everything you have ever learned and makes behaving and thinking easy for you by sticking to what you know.  The problems and struggles develop when the way you’ve always done something or the way you’ve thought about something no longer fits in your life. 

 One surefire way to get unstuck and stop trying is to get curious. Yes. Curious.  

Instead of blaming yourself, your spouse, kids, boss, other circumstances, or making up excuses get curious about what you can learn, change, improve, or tweak to continue getting the results you want.  Find the resources you need to help you figure out how to move beyond this struggle.

 You may be thinking, “Really? Curiosity? It’s too good to be true.  Is it really that simple?”  You bet!  When a child gets stuck solving a problem or building a puzzle, what do you tell that child?  You encourage them to try something new, to think differently, or you may give them a hint or clue – something that opens up their mind to a fresh perspective and allows them to solve the problem.

You’re already aware that something isn’t working in your life because your results aren’t showing up.  Now get curious about your experience of this struggle instead of getting angry, upset, or blaming something or someone. Curiosity is a big step towards resolving that struggle because it’s not about fault or blame, it’s about getting the results you want and deserve. 

When you’re curious about what’s going on without judgment, you leave space for new insights to come to you about what’s going on. Make a list of all the external and internal struggles you’re curious about in your life.  Write this list from a place of non-judgment or labelling these struggles as good or bad.  They are what they are and objective curiosity about their nature and purpose is all we want for now.  From there you can identify the resources you have and need and you will become aware of your next logical step.

Kasia Rachfall helps you stop letting your past to determine your future and your now. Did the above resonate with you? Do you disagree? Do you have a new insight to add? Please share your thoughts.

My brother and his wife welcomed their first child yesterday.  He arrived at a healthy 8 lbs 2 oz and with a full head of hair.  He’s quite possibly the handsomest little baby next to my own son (of course!).

We went to visit him (and the parents) at the hospital and as we all marvelled at how perfect he is, I started to think about what great things he will accomplish and who he will become in his life.  Babies have this ability to make us think of all the possibilities that exist for them.  He’s like a blank slate just waiting to have greatness and potential written on it.

As we grow older we tend to forget that we don’t actually lose that greatness and potential – ever!  We always have the ability to make our life into whatever we want.  But somewhere along the journey of our life we decide that we can’t do things or we can’t have things.  We become this product of our conditioning and life experience. 

A good friend and owner of Awakening Works once shared some guiding principles with me and they have become the cornerstones of my life and my business.

1. We are beings of Unlimited Possibilities with potential just waiting to be discovered – believe in yours.
2. Self Awareness and Self Understanding are what propels us to create positive change in our life
3. When we are committed to Excellence and make Conscious Choices every day we become masters of ourselves
4. Accountability and Self-Discipline create Momentum
5. Success and Happiness are always Psychological – when you change how you viewthe world, how you respond, and how you think you change your reality.

I encourage my kids and my clients to practice each of these until they become second nature.  My life has become richer and successful in all ways because of these ideas.

Kasia Rachfall helps you stop letting your past to determine your future and your now. Did the above resonate with you? Do you disagree? Do you have a new insight to add? Please share your thoughts.

I finally watched the Oprah finale and I bawled the whole time.  She inspired me and made me believe and this was the first show of hers that I’d ever seen.  We’ve never been a big TV watching family so we haven’t had cable for years.  My personal opinion is that most shows on TV are uninspiring to say the least, but I do wish I had been able to watch Oprah. 

Every night before I fall asleep I ask for clarity on issues or topics that I can’t resolve on my own.  Usually it’s Angels (yes, we all talk to Angels in our house) or my Spirit Guides who give me direction, last night, it was Oprah.  And here is what she said:

“You have to do one thing at a time because you’re scattered.  Find the meaningful and work on it until it’s completed.  You can work on the meaningful in many ways, just make sure it’s one thing at a time.”

This dream was so vivid that it almost didn’t seem like a dream.   I’m so grateful because those words helped me out a lot.  So I’ve made a list of all the projects that I will finish that I have on the go.  And even though for some reason I’ve resisted it, I will block off chunks of time to do my work until things are finished – no distractions.  I have my egg timer all ready to count time for me and I’ll keep you posted on how it’s going.  I’m excited to finish a bunch of stuff because lots of new projects are coming down the pipe.

Kasia Rachfall helps parents stop letting their past to determine their future and their now.  Did the above resonate with you? Do you disagree? Do you have a new insight to add?  Please share your thoughts.

Well, are you?  Let’s start with…what do you think most people are like.  As you think of most people, what are some words or phrases that you would use to describe them?

These words and phrases that came to your mind, are they positive or negative? 

That says a lot about you – and not in a “good or bad” sense.  It can give you clues to how you can become better than you used to be.  How you can be different than most people.  And most importantly, how you can teach your children to be themselves rather than be like most people. 

We view the world through our own windshield and that windshield has on it all our experiences, decisions, beliefs, emotions – all the things we believe are true in our life.  These things are true for us but it doesn’t mean they are true for anyone else. 

So how we view most people reflects what most people mirror back to us.  So when we notice that others are angry all the time – this tells us something about ourselves such as perhaps we’re pretty angry too or we’re denying our own anger.  For example, when I was recently asked this question my responses were

1. Most people don’t love themselves enough
2. Most people don’t believe in their own potential enough
3. Most people don’t take action enough

I do the work I do because I want all parents and their kids to believe they are enough and to take action that brings out their best self and allows them to shine in their life.  So when I came face to face with my responses about what I think I see in most people I turned inward and asked myself – do I think these things because those are the things that I notice about myself? It’s definitely something to chew on. 

The journey of my work and my life has been a lesson in knowing myself and owning what I feel and live.  And I say it’s a journey because I haven’t arrived anywhere yet (and I don’t mean death).  I know what the place I want to arrive at is like: the feelings, thoughts, and external circumstances of being there – but I’m not there yet.  And I realize that most people aren’t at their arrival point either.  We’re all on a journey whether we realize it or not and if we don’t know where we want to get to, we may never arrive.  And this goes beyond just goals - I’m talking about the whole experience of the goals and everything else that I want in my life.  Because we can achieve a goal and still not feel like we’ve arrived.

In order for me to not be like most people I want to work on some things in my self.  And when I know that I can think of most people and say they are:

• more loving
• more kind
• judging less
• giving more
• achieving more
• know what they want
• leading by example more
• swearing less
• taking more time for themselves
• enjoying their food and their life more 

then I will know I have arrived.

So ask yourself, are you like most people?  What does that say about you? I’d love to read your comments.

Parents are busy people.  We tend to run from responsibility to responsibility day after day.  We do this for different reasons: because we think we should, because we love it, because we think it’s good for the kids, because we have to, or because we want to. 

Out of all the daily responsibilities, how many are only for you? As a parent doing things for your family is important but do you sometimes feel stressed or resentful because you don’t often do anything for yourself?  You may think that if you had more time, money, a housekeeper, a chef, a better body, etc, your life would be so much easier and then you would take that time for yourself. 

This type of thinking creates a self imposed trap for us because the truth is, even if your circumstances miraculously changed this instant, chances are you wouldn’t feel any different about yourself.  You would not know how to deal with the sudden change.  This is often why people who win the lotto end up blowing all the money, going broke and dissatisfied again.   We often can get caught up in thinking that it’s the big trips, cars, or houses that will make us happy inside.  Yes, they will certainly give us a different life experience, but to truly experience deep happiness and joy we don’t need those things. 

Happiness, meaning, and satisfaction with our life come from a deep sense of self love and knowing.  Not a selfish type of love but a love that inspires us to bring our best selves to everything.  And a sure-fire way to feel that is to take care of ourselves and our own needs – just as much as we take care of others, maybe even more. 

There is no one type of self care fits all routine.  Every parent has their own way of knowing that they love and honour their own being.  This could be as simple as exercising 20 mintues every day, spending an hour quality time with the kids, drinking four cups of water, taking a bath, or reading for 15 minutes a day.  Only you know what activity is meaningful and special to you – not because someone tells you it’s good for you or because you feel you should do it. 

Of course if you had all the money and time in the world some things would be easier.  But these daily self love and self care activities would likely not change much because the desire to do them comes from within.  Take 3 minutes right now to jot down 12 things you know you want to do every day that will make you feel good and will bring out your best self.

The good news?  You can do many of those things on your list now! Without winning the lottery!  You can begin creating a different life experience every day and with simple things that you love.  In fact, by doing these things for yourself you will be teaching your kids that their wellbeing is important and by taking care of themselves they will be able to better take care of others.

The Daily Dozen list is a great exercise to do with the kids (once they’re old enough to understand this) because it will teach them to honour their own needs.  Simply pick a time and give each member of your family a piece of paper and write out 12 things that you all want to do for yourselves every day.  Your kids may have different ideas than you do about what makes them happy and it’s important that they be allowed to practice their own self care daily activities (within safe boundaries, of course).  Remember this is not a judgment or good/bad idea type exercise.  Put this somewhere where you will remember to look at it and start implementing it.  And notice how differently you feel and how differently you show up for everything else you do in your busy life.

Don’t think of a frog prince!
 
Oops!
 
You did, didn’t you?
 
It’s ok, you’re not alone.  There are many parents who tend to think about the stuff they don’t want more than the stuff they
want.  And this is what their kids end up learning to think too – and they all get more of what they don’t want. 
 
I’m sure you’re wondering why that is… simply put it’s because your unconscious (aka the subconscious) mind doesn’t process
negatives. 
 
Wha??? 
 
That’s right.  The subconscious is very literal and has no judgment on the instructions you give it.  So, it follows orders literally
and doesn’t understand what NOT is. 
 
For example, a bunch of insurance companies back in the 1990s did a study of hotels and found that 90% of all slip and fall accidents happen in front of the yellow cones that are placed wherever the floor is slippery.  The cones state “Don’t Slip” and have a picture of a stick figure falling on his/her behind.  So not only are these cones telling you what not to do in words, they are giving you a picture to focus on too!  As you’re walking by, the picture in your subconscious is “slip” and before you can focus on something different (ie, not slipping) you tend fulfill that original picture.
 
So what does this mean for you and the kids learning from you?  You gotta say it how you want it!
 
Do you find yourself always saying or thinking “I don’t want to be so tired!” or “I don’t want to yell all the time?” etc?
 
What your unconscious mind is focusing on is “I want to be so tired” and “I want to yell all the time” and, since it follows
directions literally, it focuses your behaviours, efforts, and attention on being tired or yelling. 
 
This is why all the gurus say it’s important to think positive or say it how you want it.  I can already hear you saying it “Oh
great! More positive thinking! That stuff doesn’t work!”
 
Yes, it does, actually.  But if you have a ton of negative emotions and other gunk in your subconscious you need to clear that out first before you will find it easy to think about what you want.   Think of it like cleaning out a garage of all the junk before you can park your new car in there.  You can do it all at once if you want, or you can do it a little at a time.  The point is to start so that eventually you will be able to park that new car there – aka think differently than you are now.
 
Once you do the clean up it’s easier to focus on what you want and to keep your language clean saying what you do want:
 
“I am vibrant and awake.”

“I am communicating clearly and meaningfully.”
 
So when you want to teach your kids to get what they want out of life, make sure you’re using the cleanest and most positive
language with everything they do.  Make sure the words you say are putting pictures in their heads of what they want instead of what they don’t want. 
 
Instead of “don’t spill the milk” say “keep all the milk in the cup,” or instead of “don’t run because you’ll fall” say “make sure you stay up on your feet.”  This will teach your kids to use language that’s positive too.  (Of course accidents may still happen, but less often.)
 
This goes for you, the parent, too.  The next time you set a goal and find yourself not achieving it because you keep focusing on all the ways in which you are not achieving it, switch to focusing on all the ways in which you are achieving it.  This is what’s going to get you the results you want in your life and your kids lives.

I’m amazed at the fear I feel every time I feel like I want to be vulnerable with the world.  My first automatic thought is that “they’ll” think I’m some whiner.  The truth is, I’m allowed to be a whiner! I’ve finally accepted the fact that I have crappy days and I’m allowed to feel my emotions. I don’t have to have it all figured out and I don’t have to have all the answers – not instantly.  Sometimes not at all. 

I don’t expect perfection from my clients, my kids, or my husband – then why do I keep expecting it from myself? Hmmm…

So today as I was experiencing one of “those days” I decided to take a different approach.  Yes, I cried and I even thought “Why me? I want a happily ever after and I want it now!” for a few minutes. 

Then I got really mad. 

I got mad and I started taking action like never before on stuff that’s been on the back burner.  I didn’t feel like doing the usual to-do list so I looked at that back burner.  And you know what…? It felt good!

In fact, it fired up emotions, conviction, and the drive to do things differently.  It got me thinking outside the box.

I’m still mad and a little part of me still feels like it’s not fair.  But I’m actually really grateful that I took my anger and channeled it into moving myself forward instead of into chocolate or those really yummy chocolate chip bars I baked for the kids. 

I feel really empowered that I got the courage to share this too.  I know all moms have days and experience stuff that seems not fair.  Even those moms who pretend they don’t and those moms who don’t allow themselves to admit it. (I used to be one).

It’s liberating! Do it! Come clean with yourself and that alone will make you feel better!

For all moms (and dads) out there…what’s the biggest insight you’ve ever gotten out of one of “those days?”