Recently someone told me that I seemed very malcontent. My first ego based reaction was “What the…? How dare they say this about me?”

But after thinking about how I had been acting lately I realized how true this statement actually was. I was malcontent. There, I admitted it.

No, I wasn’t in a mid life crisis and I wasn’t planning on doing anything drastic. I’ve done enough of the drastic stuff in life to learn its not really the smartest way to go.

I really wanted to figure this one out. I had always been happy and not much really bothered me. If anything did bother me I could always brush it off. But this malcontent thing was bothering me something fierce.  And by golly, I finally figured it out!

Kasia and I have learned a great deal on manifestation and seeing the big picture and dreaming big. You can call it manifesting, intending, law of attraction or whatever you want, but essentially it is what you want to be, have, and experience. It’s important to have a family vision or dream but you also need to have your own dreams because you are still your own person. YOUR dreams. Not your spouse’s, not your kid’s. YOURS. I had lost touch with MY dreams and what was important to me.

After this “aha” I realized that there are tons of people teaching you to reach for the stars and dream big. However, a lot of them just barely touch on celebrating and loving what you currently have. If you do not celebrate, enjoy, appreciate and love what you already have then why should the universe provide you with more?

This is where I think we go wrong and I know that was where I went wrong. We only focus on what we want; not on what we have. We take for granted all the wonderful things that the universe and the creative geniuses of our time have provided for us. We complain when a 40 minute drive takes 50 minutes or if our mobile internet takes 5 seconds longer to load.

What if you were just happy that you have a vehicle and can get places faster than if you had to walk? What if you just appreciated that vehicle and took care of it? What if you were happy that you have a phone attached to you? Remember when you had to look for a payphone? (I’m sure some readers are asking what a payphone is. LOL.)

I am not in any way trying to squash the act of dreaming big. I have very lofty dreams and will one day reach every single one of them. I am simply suggesting to enjoy what you currently have and the universe will provide you more.

This makes me remember when Kasia and I were recently out for our 11th anniversary. We had a bunch of leftovers from dinner and were walking down the street. There was a homeless guy sitting and leaning against a tree as we walked past. Kasia offered him what we had. His eyes literally almost glowed with excitement as she handed him the bag and he responded with what one of the most heartfelt Thank You’s I have ever heard. He did not care that the food might be cold. He didn’t care what kind of food it was. He was just grateful that he got to eat that day. (By the way he ate really amazing Chicken Shawarma for dinner that night)

My malcontentment disappeared when I began to appreciate everything more. And I encourage everyone to appreciate, enjoy and have fun with what you have and the people we we have in our lives. Especially the people we love. The stuff can always be replaced. It’s just stuff.

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I was watching a video this morning by John Assaraf in which he talks about his recent goal to drop 25 lbs.  In this video he uses the term “excusitis” – in other words, making excuses for not achieving a goal we want.  John said that besides getting rid of all excuses he also set a clear goal and visualized achieving that goal.

John’s comments led me to ask myself if I too have excusitis because there are some goals I haven’t achieved.  As someone who works with women to assist them to release what’s holding them back from the happy life and happy family they want, I can smell an excuse a mile away!  And I don’t allow clients to get away with excuses and I encourage them to take actions every day towards what they want. 

I realized that what’s been standing in my own way of some of my goals is that I haven’t visualized them clearly enough.  Not only that, I haven’t written them all down. 

Some goals, the ones that are well within my own control to achieve, I can easily visualize and take action on.  Like the renovation of our new Fresh Perspective Family office.  I set the goal, saw it completed, and it’s done!

The bigger goals though, those are the ones I can’t visualize or write down.  I still take action on them, but it’s not always focused action and so it’s not really possible for me to measure how close I’m getting or not getting to the goal.

So what is it about the big goals and my inability to write them down or visualize them?  Because I’ve tried and I just sabotage myself every time in different ways.  I’ve nailed it down to fear of lack of control for sure.  I’ve also started to catch the language I use when I talk or think about those big goals.  My language really tells me I don’t fully believe I can achieve them…so why bother writing them down or visualizing them.  It’s easier just to take actions that lead me “somewhere in the vicinity of the goal” because then I can at least feel good that I’m doing something. 

If I were my own coach I would have had a big talking to with myself.  And that’s exactly what I’ve done.  I’m watching what my language and my emotions tell me about my beliefs around control, success, big acheivements, and even failure.  I’m excited to observe this process as much as I am excited to take myself through it.  It’s easy for me to take clients through NLP, Hypnosis, and Time Empowerment® and I plan on being a good client. 

I deserve to reach the big, mountainous goals too!  And I’m willing to face that Inner Control Freak once again and break through the barriers to being a more confident me, a more loving mom, a more successful business person, and all the other ways in which I will come closer to who I am in my heart.

I will keep you posted on my progress and successes.

Photos by: melodysheep

Click here to view the embedded video.

YOU hold the keys to living an empowered life in YOUR hands. When you take 100% responsibility for your choices, your actions and your inactions, your life will change immediately.  You’ll recognize the excuses and reasons you have for staying in your comfort zone and suffering through your current story, and your story will change!  You are the creator of your reality.  Dr Wayne Dyer says that when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. It’s true. You will see immediate results when you use this book because your mindset will shift.

Are you squeazing 36 hours worth of stuff into a 24 hour day?  You’re so busy doing things for your family that I’m willing to bet that YOU come last! At the same time you’re probably saying to yourself, “It’s my responsibility to do these things! I’m the mom!”

Do you get so run down trying to fulfill the roles that you don’t take time for yourself, and then complain about to your girlfriends or husband? 

Deep down, you know if you let go of the guilt about taking care of yourself and you stopped feeling afraid of changing things that aren’t working in your life, you would feel happier, more fulfilled, and less resentful of all those responsibilities you have taken on.

Do you feel you’ve lost yourself somewhere along the way and you’re taking care of everything and everyone else except you?  You tell yourself “someday” you will be able to find the time to enjoy your hobbies and work on your personal growth. For now, you’re going through the motions day after day — and the years slip by. 

Just because this is your life now doesn’t mean it has to be that way forever. In fact, you have the power to change it today.  Right now. You just have to choose to change and give yourself permission. This is very important. You can only change what you are 100% committed to changing. 

Changing your life doesn’t have to be complicated or take a long time. What it does take is commitment from you to put yourself and your needs first, to work on yourself, to be honest and willing to make whatever changes you need to make to achieve the life you want.

You must be willing to let go of excuses.  My own mentor, Fabienne Fredrickson, always tells me: when you’re interested, you do what’s convenient; when you’re committed, you do whatever it takes.  This John Assaraf quote is now a favourite of mine.

There are three requisites to creating change.  First you must focus on what you want.  Then you must clear out the negativity, limitations, and other mental and emotional gunk and sludge that is keeping you stuck.  Third, you must maintain your focus and take action.   You have the keys within yourself to unlock the door to endless possibilities.  

This book is divided into three sections.  Begin by working through the first section on getting clear on what you want.  Choose a key that you feel comfortable with and work on it for a one-week period.  Once you master the key, choose another one. While some of these suggest actions, others are simply concepts that involve making a conscious choice.  Practicing the actions will help you make them automatic. This process will take some time, and it is meant to . . . the purpose is not to overwhelm you.  I recommend first choosing the keys that speak to you the most or the ones that you know you can commit to easily.

Commit to yourself 100% and don’t waiver — no matter what anyone says.  These keys will light your path to your transformation into an empowered and fulfilled woman, a woman who has reclaimed herself and is now better able to not only fulfill her role as mom, wife, and professional, but also as a woman and a citizen of this world. You’ll become a woman who knows that the world is a better place because she is living and walking this earth.

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Many of us have doubt in our minds or maybe just not enough belief in ourselves. I want you to know it’s possible. The dreams you hold in your heart but push to the back of your mind are within your reach. Accept the fact that you can create a better life. This will serve as the springboard of belief you need to succeed.

~Martin Crous

Before positive changes can take place, you must take responsibility for your position in life. You are in control of your future and you are the only one who can guarantee a better life. If you play the role of a victim, giving up control and ownership of your life, you will never enjoy the amazing opportunities that life offers to us all.

~Martin Crous, Ph.D.

Advance confidently in the direction of your own dreams to live the Life that you’ve imagined.

~Dr Wayne Dyer