Ever have one of “those days?”  It`s human to have off days – I get that.  But for me it used to be such a downer and I still get caught in the trap of “I have to have it all figured out, so don`t tell anyone!”  Silly, I know.  So what to do about that feeling?

I used to just shut myself down and wallow.  That didn`t work well, let me tell you.  It made my days worse because I was either cranky or unemotional like a zombie.  Not a good way to build a healthy family home life. 

I have a way better way to get through days like that.  I know they will come up – and I`m ok with it! Because now I give myself permission to feel off.   My mindset is on track 95% of the time and the other 5% I give myself the benefit of the doubt.  This has done wonders for creating a meaningful relationship with my own self.

I also rely on my trusty list.  I`ve written down all the thinfs that I could think of that I would need to do to reach my goals this year.  And so when I`m in a funk and bordering on floundering around – I just pick something on my list and do it!  It`s amazing how much my day goes up from there because as I get absorbed into the task, I focus my energy on the progress towards my vision. 

My other option is to just let myself be for the day and be ok with that too.  I don`t always have to accomplish anything.  Actually I`ve really learned the value of simply being. 

I`d love to know what all you moms and dads do when you have one of “those days?”  Please leave your comments.

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Have you ever felt so happy that you thought you could just fly or burst with the fulfillment and elation you felt?

Have you ever felt so angry or so sad that your body shook with the rage or seemed to shut itself down from the weight of that emotion?

Emotions are powerful enough to evoke physical reactions in our bodies. And emotions come from our reactions to the world around us – from what we perceive the world to be and from what we tell ourselves about our world. Negative self talk causes us to feel differently than positive self talk. There is a growing body of scientific evidence that being positive or kind towards yourself can save your life in many ways.

Dr Deepak Chopra, an MD and Quantum Biologist, discovered that neurotransmitters exist in every cell in our body. These are chemicals that transmit messages from the brain and scientists used to think they existed only in the brain. So when we think a thought that causes an emotion, that emotion travels with the neurotransmitter throughout our body – it is not just confined to our brain.

What’s more, when a cell in our body dies, its replacement is set up to receive the type of neurotransmitter that the dead cell received most often. This means that if the brain constantly flooded the body with happy or excited messages/emotions, the new cells will have more receptor sites for happy neurotransmitters. If, on the other hand, the body was flooded with anger, sadness, fear, or guilt, the new cells will be programmed to receive the negative neurotransmitters. This is one reason why some people are always looking on the bright side and why some wouldn’t know happiness if it hit them in the face. They are programmed for that emotion down to the cellular level.

Science has proven that excess amounts of stress and negative emotions absolutely impact our bodies. In fact, too much negative emotion has been correlated to the following dis-eases, as presented by the Journal of the American Medical Association (6/1996) and Advanced Neuro Dynamics (4/2009):

Anger: heart attack, heightened cholesterol

Sadness: weakened immune system, depression

Fear: excessive stress, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), phobia

Guilt: lowered healing energy, cancer

So how does kindness save your life? Here are 5 ways:

1. When you’re kind to yourself and you speak to yourself in a positive and empowering way, your body is healthier throughout your life because you don’t attract dis-ease all the time and you don’t feel drained and empty at the end of the day.

2. Your cells receive the positive neurotransmitters more often than the negative ones which means you’re better able to handle negativity when it does come up. You don’t experience an emotional roller coaster; rather your emotional wellbeing is steady and positive.

3. Your relationship with your children is more meaningful and close. When you love yourself you automatically treat yourself better. Your children model this behaviour and learn to love themselves and are more authentic and self assured individuals. They learn that self care is of utmost importance in life.

4. Your partner, friends, and others in your life feel more comfortable around you because when your self talk is positive, you radiate that out to the world. Others can trust that you’re not going to be a negative “ninny” and bring the mood down or complain all the time. Your life is fuller because people genuinely enjoy being around you.

5. Your internal positive focus attracts to you external positives. Whether this means opportunities in your business or chosen career, in your personal life, or with your family, your life is full with experiences that enrich your time here. You know that your life has meaning to you and others.

It’s important to practice positive self talk and do give yourself a break when you catch yourself talking down to yourself. You’ll know you’re making progress when you’re in the heat of an emotional moment or under pressure and rather than reacting and saying mean things to yourself (like you used to in the past), you remain calm and are kind to yourself. Dr Wayne Dyer has a great quote that says “Orange juice comes out of an orange when it’s squeezed. What comes out of you when you’re squeezed (under pressure) is what’s truly inside.” Kindness leads to a better life for yourself and your children in countless ways.

I took a different approach to this year’s goals.  This new approach was inspired by the book Manifesting Change by Mike Dooley.  In it he talks a lot about how to really get what you want. And although I disagree with some of it and in my opinion, he skirts a few issues that are important, it’s a fantastic read and really gets you thinking about how to get what you want.  I mean really, in layman’s terms and it makes sense what he says.

So my goals for this year are still related to my business and my family life, but this year I’m focused more on internal stuff.  By that I mean on the way I feel and what type of experience I want to creat in my life as opposed to just having a goal for goal’s sake and because it’s what I should have as a business owner. 

My main focus this year is prosperity – that’s my one word theme for 2011.  All my results that I want to achieve center around this theme.  And it’s not just about money because money has only a little bit to do with prosperity. 

This year I want to creat meaning in every moment that I have with my family.  I want to continue to connect in meaningful ways with friends and new business people.  I want to feel that every action I take or don’t take really has a purpose in bringing me closer to my end result.  I want to greedily FEEL more good emotions than negative ones.  I want to do whatever I can do help others become what they are meant to be. I also want to take very good care of me – emotionally, physically, and spiritually. 

I’m going to

1. Be Grateful for everything I am and have in my life right now.

2. Focus on my end results.

3. Take action every day.

All these things bring prosperity in material and non-material ways.  So as much as I have financial goals and fitness goals with numbers in them, the numbers are not necessarily the main focus for me.  The experience is the main focus.  And that’s different from what I’ve done in the past.  I’m really excited about my year and my new approach!

I recently had the opportunity to share some bits of wisdom on communication on Breakfast Television.  Here is the link to the video. 

http://video.citytv.com/video/detail/711822041001.000000/holiday-family-communication/

- Avoid the My Stress Is Bigger Than Your Stress game

- Make the time to connect

- Watch your language

Do you sometimes have days when you feel like you got nothing done? It seems like you time spend zipping from one errand to the next, take the kids from here to there, do this, do that…and at the end of it all your to do list remains undone. Been there done that! It’s the fastest way to frustration!

What if you were to stop and actually take inventory of what you did accomplish during such a day? That list would be long, I’m sure. Just because you didn’t do everything on your proverbial to do list, doesn’t mean you got nothing done.

Writing down all the big and small tasks that you do accomplish each day goes a long way to make you feel really good about yourself. It’s like having a backwards to do list. Instead of writing the list and crossing off things as you do them, you just write the things you’ve done! To me the best part of a list is the crossing off part – I’ve even writted in tasks I’ve accomplished that weren’t on there just so I can cross them off!

Feeling good about yourself and being grateful for what you do accomplish is important to keep your energy and motivation high. This is why taking an inventory of what you’ve accomplished this past year is a great idea to set the momentum for the new year.

It’s easy to slip into that same mentality of “I got nothing done last year that I wanted to do!” Chances are that’s not true at all. Take a moment and write out a list of all your accomplishments since the beginning of the year and revel in it!

And if there were some things that you wanted to do but didn’t – well, you can choose to focus on doing them now. Ask yourself:

What changes will you make that will help you accomplish those goals next year?

What resources do you already have in place to accomplish them?

What resources do you need?

Then just take action. And remember to pat yourself on the back for everything you do get done. Focusing your energy on what you don’t do or have or on what’s wrong in your life brings you more of the same.

What are you willing to do differently next year to make sure you’re in the place you want to be in December 2011?

Many of us have doubt in our minds or maybe just not enough belief in ourselves. I want you to know it’s possible. The dreams you hold in your heart but push to the back of your mind are within your reach. Accept the fact that you can create a better life. This will serve as the springboard of belief you need to succeed.

~Martin Crous

As kids we were taught to always say Please and Thank You to others, and this is a very good thing to do.  It promotes kindness and respect among people.  I think many of us consider ourselves as polite and kind individuals so I was very surprised to learn this important lesson about my own manners from the universe. 

I’ve been working with a wonderful and intuitive coach and mentor on limiting beliefs and mindset struggles surrounding abundance that have resurfaced for me.  It surprised me to have this “stuff” come up because I do a lot of inner work with myself and have dealt with these issues before.  My mentor smiled and said to me that it’s common for the plumber to have leaky pipes or the mechanic to have squeaky brakes.  In other words, it’s easier to help others with their “stuff” than to help yourself.  This is why I love working with a coach – they pull out things that I can’t pull out of my own head.

During our sessions my coach sometimes channels messages from the universe.  As I was sharing my frustrations about attracting these struggles again and again, she looked with that look she gets when she channels and said “It’s because you haven’t been grateful for the lessons the universe is wanting to teach you.”

Esther and Jerry Hicks write about the power of gratitude and how important it is.  I keep a gratitude journal and we’ve started a family gratitude book that we write in every day.  I realized that I practice gratitude for the good things in my life but not for all the other things: the more difficult events and people that lead me to learn valuable things. 

My coach helped me release the internal struggles and I also immediately began expressing gratitude for everything – the good and the not so good.  And almost immediately everything changed in this area of my life.  I am attracting abundance in so many different ways now.  It’s like the universe was waiting for me to just be polite towards the abundance so that I would receive it easily.

If you have an area in your life where you’re struggling continually even though you’ve worked on it before, chances are your mindset (your internal thoughts, feelings, and values) is misaligned.  Once you release the struggle and express gratitude for it, you will be amazed at the changes you will experience in your life.  Your mindset will be aligned with your conscious goals and you will easily achieve those goals. 
A coach can be an invaluable asset while you’re making changes in your life because they listen without judgment and are there only for you.  Of course you can speak about things with friends and family but it’s not the same as having an impartial partner who holds a safe space for you to explore all your oprtions.  To get to the bottom of your internal struggles and refocus your energy where you want it within one day, book your free Strategy Session to discover if working with us is right for you.

Get Fit And Create Family Experiences And Memories

 I’m a husband, dad and granddad and I love fitness and an active lifestyle.  In recalling some my fondest moments with my children and wife they’ve all been around some physical activity, i.e. hiking, swimming, rock climbing, climbing a mountain, biking. The physical activity wasn’t as important as the time we spent together. 

 I also recall on several occasions other families looking to have some fun outdoors and several members of the family being too out of shape or overweight to participate.   They never said those words, but what they did say was something like, “I’m too tired” or “You go ahead and I’ll stay here and watch.”  

 How said, that because of something so easy to control – a persons level of fitness – that the family missed out on creating great memories. 

 Fitness is one of those things that is constantly in our face, but few ever take it seriously, that is until it’s too late. Fitness doesn’t have to be complicated or take hours a day to achieve.  It just takes a bit of mental strength, a plan and taking action.

 I like to look at fitness as being a part of and contributing to an active lifestyle.  This, I feel should be the goal of every family, to have an active lifestyle.  Sure, it’s nice to have game night and maybe even watch T.V. or a movie.  But those memories quickly fade away or turn into regret.

 By having an active lifestyle a family can create fantastic memories that will last a life time.  My kids still talk about our trips and hikes to Yosemite…and it’s been almost 15 years since those trips together.

 The question you’re probably asking at this point is HOW to create an active and fit lifestyle.

 Glad you ask!

 With the help a coach, you both can address the areas that are most overlooked in a successful conversion from a sedentary to active lifestyle.  These areas include:

• Environmental factors determine the external opportunities or constraints which individuals and families must function in. They involve considering where and when success occurs. This includes areas like:
  • The Kitchen
  • The workplace
  • School
  • Fitness area or gym
  • Outdoors

• Behavioral factors are the specific action steps taken in order to reach success. They involve what, specifically, must be done or accomplished in order to succeed and include:
  • Determining favorite activities like rollerblading, bike riding, running, etc
  • The optimum time to exercise
  • A change in nutrition
  • Work out 3 times a week

• Capabilities relate to the mental maps, plans or strategies that lead to success. They direct how actions are selected and monitored and might include:
  • The use of a schedule
  • Creating a family Code of Honor
  • Establishing accountability among each other

• Beliefs and values provide the reinforcement that supports or inhibits particular capabilities and actions. They relate to why a particular path is taken and the deeper motivations which drive people and families to act or not to act.  Some limiting beliefs to be examined can include:
  • It’s expensive to be fit and healthy
  • I/we don’t have time to exercise
  • I have too much work to do to exercise

• Identity factors relate to people’s sense of their role or mission. These factors are a function of who a person or family perceives themselves to be. Some identities to be explored can be:
  • “I’m overweight”
  • “I have an illness”
  • “We’re just a big boned family”

• “Spiritual” factors relate to people’s view of the larger system of which they are a part. These factors involve for whom or for what a particular action step or path has been taken (the purpose).  This can include
  • Living long enough to see your grandkids finish High School
  • To be an inspiration to your children
  • To be an inspiration to your parents

These are the main areas that, as a coach, I help individual and families look at when wanting to embrace an active lifestyle.  A combination of a personal trainer, great nutritionist and a coach can make the process of creating an active and fit lifestyle so easy that you’ll be wondering what’s taken us so long.

This is one of my roles as coach; to assist, encourage and transform families thinking and beliefs that they can’t be fit, healthy and active to knowing and believing that they can and then living it and creating great memories.

I’ve been reading this awesome book lately called the Intention Experiment by Lynn McTaggert.  She writes about the science behind intention.  It’s been quite a learning experience to read about all the different types of experiments and research being done in this area.

I’ve been a student and practitioner of Intention for many years.  And no matter how much I think I know, there is more to learn, to practice, and to receive.  It’s definitely been a journey. 

One of the main intentions I had put out for this past year was connections.  I wanted to meet the right people who would catch my vision and help me move it forward.  And when I look back at where I am today compared to when I first put that intention out there, it humbles me! 

I’ve had so many synchronistic meetings and encounters with just the right people this year!  One person would lead me to another and I would get excatly what I needed even before I knew I wanted it sometimes. 

I often get asked what I do to bring in clients and my answer is I network a lot.  The next logical question is then “does that work?” My answer is absolutely!  Because I always meet the right people at the right time.  And they are always those people that I need in my life.  My purpose in wanting to connect with others is not to meet everyone in a room or at an event.  Of course, the more people know about my work the better, but that’s not the whole idea.  I want to connect with those people who I am meant to connect with and build a relationship with to help both our visions. 

I’ve been very fortunate so far that the Universe is bringing those people to me.  I get so excited when we begin brainstorming and envisioning what we can accmplish together.  Intention really works whether scientifically or on faith.  It works and I’m glad I found it all those years ago.